It is often the self-talk that goes through our heads that determines how we behave in different situations. Let’s say you had an experience in your early career where you were heavily, criticized by your boss in his office. Now every time you are summoned to your boss’s office, your brain re-plays the earlier experience. Your self-talk takes you back to the earlier incident and you deal with it in the same way. Only by training yourself to change the old self-talk can you break out of this cycle.
“We have learned during our upbringing how to protect ourselves from danger, rejection, ridicule, disgust and other undesirable responses to our behaviour. We have developed a “socially acceptable” way of being. Sometimes we call this good manners, or politeness, or conformity, or being inhibited, all of which serve to keep us safe. But learning is about adventure. It is about lowering the barriers and allowing ourselves the freedom to be different from how we might normally be. Unless we are able to do this, our learning will be limited and narrow and has to fit who we have become rather than who we are.”