Learn to Learn

It is a general belief that we get educated in schools and colleges. But the question is, “Do we really get educated in schools and colleges?” Generally, there is a consensus that some do but most do not. We receive a lot of information in schools and colleges. We need to be educated. But we need to know the true meaning of education.

Intellectual education influences the mind and values based education influences the heart. In fact, education that does not train the heart so it  is dangerous. If we want to build character in our offices, homes and society, we must meet a minimum level of moral and ethical literacy. Education that builds fundamental traits of character – such as honesty, compassion, courage, persistence and responsibility – is essential. We do not need more academic education; we need more values education.

A person who is morally educated will be a lot better equipped to move up in life or succeed than a morally bankrupt person with excellent academic qualifications. Character building and teaching values and ethics come in the formative years because a child is not born with this knowledge.

True education is training of both, the mind and the heart. An uneducated thief may steal from the freight car but an educated one may steal the entire railroad.

We need to compete for knowledge and wisdom, not for grades. Knowledge is piling up facts, wisdom is simplifying it. One could have good grades and a degree without learning much. The most important thing one can learn is to “learn to learn”. People confuse education with the ability to memorize facts. Education of the mind without morals creates a menace to society.

A Poem on Our Busy Lives

Around the corner, I have a friend

In the city, that has no end

The days go by and weeks rush on

And before I know, a year has gone

I never see my old friends’ face

Now we are busy, tired men

Tired of playing a foolish game

Tired of trying to make a name

Tomorrow I say I’ll call on my friend

Just to show that I’m thinking of him

But tomorrow comes and tomorrow goes

And distance between us grows and grows

Around the corner yet miles away

Here’s a telegram

Sir, your friend died today

That’s what we get and deserve in the end

Around the corner, a vanished friend.

When I read this poem for the very first time, I didn’t realize what it is saying. I received it from a dear friend of mine who is living in a world, far away from me. I remember when I met him last time, it was almost 10 years since we haven’t met face-to-face. And once again, it is almost 2 years now that we didn’t get a chance to get together. So every message through any medium I receive from him, is precious to me.

When I read this poem one more time, I realized that how much we are attached to each other emotionally and I could not tell that how much I miss hugging him. It saddened me because it is true that we are running towards something which we do not know, we could get or not. We are so much tied up that we just go on and on and miss so much at the same time.

The Conditioning of Life

What is it that we seek, that we want? In the restless times, everybody try to find peace. Some people find yoga as an option because they think that it cures the injuries outside as well as inside. Others find some other spiritual activity to indulge in order to get peace.

When we pursue peace and happiness, we go to the different leaders seeking our purpose. We continuously go from one leader to another, from religious organization to the teachers and so on. Why do we go to different leaders for help to bring happiness in our life? Why don’t we just stop by a single person for the same reason? Actually, we do not seek happiness, we want to find a sense of fullness, a sense of satisfaction, a sense of delight.

The outer world is so very beautiful for a tour but it takes a lot in it to solve and to understand that we are unable to crack it on every step that we take. This is when we find ourselves going through turmoil and we badly need to get rid of it. It is not impossible to understand and enjoy more and more, but it takes time and enough courage to live that way which most of us are unable to realize. Our conscious minds are so afraid and limited by the unconsciousness that we often lose control over our knowledge and thoughts for more expansion.

It is far more better to devote oneself to a cause, to an idea, to spend long time under that shelter when one found it. Practicing this, will not solve all the problems but it will help to understand how to tackle them. Keep going back under that shelter when we feel like thinking about a conflict can surely give us a way to feel happy and satisfied inwardly as well as outwardly.

A friend of mine used to feed the birds regularly and he found an enormous satisfaction in that service. People having sensitivity towards the nature and God’s creations, are less impulsive and much satisfied by the conditions of their lives.

Promote the Inner Self

Simplicity is merely an outward expression. If we measure simplicity by having few possessions, few clothes, small bank account; that would not simplicity. That is an outward show. We are immature enough to use our intelligence without any guidance and we call it simplicity.

To me, simplicity is essential and it cannot come in to being by measuring possessions. It can come in to being when we begin to understand the worth of self-knowledge. For that reason, we must seek knowledge that can speak simply. It is just an adjustment to a pattern of our living and thoughts.

Our thoughts are not as simple as they should be. It requires a great deal of intelligence to be simple. The problem is that we think about external things most of the time so that we calculate things externally. When we start working on internal things which demand from us to surrender our external thoughts, patterns, and intelligence.

The world is a fine place and worth the fighting for, which is why mostly we ignore our inner selves and keep looking at the world in the same patterns, the outward show. Actually, we like to be prisoners, which is why, we do not try to think over or understand those things that can allow us to feel free from within. Whereas, simplicity can be found when we are free inwardly.

We must try to promote our inner self, our deep thoughts, for the sake of living a healthy and simple life well-knowingly. We must conquer our bad outward habits and stretch the boundaries of our inner pure feelings to a longer field.

Good Friends

The conventional wisdom is that good friendships enhance an individual’s sense of happiness and overall well-being. But a number of solid studies support the notion that strong social supports improve a woman’s prospects for good health and longevity. Conversely, we see that loneliness and lack of social supports link to an increased risk of heart disease, viral infections, and cancer as well as higher mortality rates. It is termed that friendship networks a behavioral vaccine that protects both physical and mental health.

While there is an impression that link friendship and health status, the precise reasons for this connection are still far from clear. The links that explains the friendship healthy includes: 1) good friends encourage their friends to lead more healthy lifestyles; 2) good friends encourage their friends to seek help and access services, when needed; 3) good friends enhance their friends’ coping skills in dealing with illness and other health problems; and 4) good friends actually affect physiological pathways that are protective of health.

The friend’s qualities sought in friendships relation: 1) Trust: This word is important in a relation with a friend, means that you can confess something to your friend without thinking that this person will repeat what you said to her or to him. 2) Loyalty: In a friend relationship, men and women seek people who are loyal. The loyalty can be defined by these words faithfulness, devotion to a person. Men and women expect from their friend to be present for them when they need them. For example, to be loyal means to be present when your friend is in a bad situation such as a death in their family. 3) Sense of humor: Generally when you are with your friend you like to stay with them because they know how to comfort you when you are not in a good mood and to know what to do or to say to make you smile.

The main factors in creation of friendship in accord to women include: 1) Proximity 2) Communication 3) Affection. Women need to be close to their friends. They need to have a regular contact with them. Women feel closer to their friends than men do. Women like to communicate to share their life with their friends. They share more than men do. They can talk during hours and hours. They also like to show what they feel for their friend by hugging them. They touch them when they talk with them. The body language is very important during the conversation for women and it is a sign of affection.

The main factors in creation of friendship in accord to men include: 1) Common interests 2) Affection. Men build their relation through the interests they have with other persons. Generally when you ask two friends what they like to do, the answer will be the same for both. They like to share activities as watching a football game or drink lime water. Men also accord importance to affection in relationship with their friends but in a different way that women do. Indeed, men show affective by sharing activities and exchange favors.

The gender difference differs also in their expectation, acceptance and avoidance. Men accept the competition and even if they lose they stay friends without any resentment. For example they like to play cards and deal money. On the contrary, they avoid personal discussion or showing their weaknesses. For men, it is not acceptable to show that they have weaknesses because they will feel vulnerable.

Women, generally speaking, avoid to compete with their friends because almost all of them, when they lose, they develop a bad feeling. Women expect from their friends to be around them to listen carefully to them when they talk.